Amanda at the DotMoms has a good post on the different roles women have and how that affects our views of one another and how we do and don't support one another. Ms Magazine Blog has a post suggesting that part of the problem is the labels: Stay at home mom versus working moms.
It is frustrating that women are not more supportive of one another. I'd have to agree with Melissa's comments at DotMoms: the desire to shoot down another person comes from insecurity about our own choices and secret envy of the other person's position.
The important thing to remember is that every child and every family is unique. Each families needs can't and shouldn't be met in the same way. I've tried very hard to support all of the mommies I've known, even when their choices are completely at odds with my own parenting skills. Unfortunately, not all the mothers have shown me the same consideration. Somehow, they get caught up in the idea that their way is the only way.
It's less stressful for me to accept and acknowledge that what works for some mothers, does not work for me or my family. I only have to look at my beautiful, clever girl to know that our "system" is working for us.